Oh hiii dear ones. So for the next few weeks this newsletter might be a little sporadic because I am deep in tech rehearsals and previews for Mother Play. We have a bunch of new subscribers here thanks to sweet Liz Gilbert who has an amazing substack of her own if you don’t already subscribe.
I am in that tender and terrifying moment of making this play where the process is starting to turn towards the product. I keep thinking about something that Rick Rubin talked about in his book The Creative Act. He says the most important part of any creative process is the making and at some point we have to give what we’ve made to the public so that we can set it free and get back to making something new. We are still about three weeks away from that moment but we start performing in front of audiences on Wednesday and I keep telling myself that trust is the place to return to right now- in myself, in these amazing collaborators, and the audiences who come to see it. But hooboy it is vulnerable.
Listening
This is a very good Ezra Klein podcast episode on “The Deep Conflict Between Our Work and Parenting Ideals”. There is so much in this interview that stood out to me. The first is the phrase “competing devotions” which is used to talk about why mothers in the US are so exhausted. If we’re lucky enough to have jobs we love and children we love then there is just not enough time or energy to dedicate to both of those things and this leaves us feeling inadequate.
The second part that stood out was that in countries like Sweden where they have 3 months of parental leave, fathers feel they would be stigmatized if they didn’t take time off to spend with their children, that people would think something was wrong if they didn’t take the time away. This got me thinking about how much American culture might shift on so many levels if men were expected to take time off of work and be with their kids. Not only would it illuminate so much of the invisible labor of parenthood but it would orient us towards connection and family instead of productivity.
Finally, and I can’t stop thinking about this, in an effort to be honest and make women feel less alone, we sometimes talk about motherhood as some kind of excruciating and impossible task. I think I’ve been guilty of this. It can feel less comfortable to share what I love about motherhood because I worry it will make another woman feel bad. But when I zoom out I wonder if this might be true about many internet discussions. Everything is terrible! Things are getting worse! We can never survive this! I know some of this is well intentioned but it ends up feeling like every corner of our lives is on fire. And that’s just not the case. I highly recommend this episode.
You know who seems like she’s done a pretty god job of merging her competing devotions? Beyonce. Have you listened to her new album?! You must. Who knew I was such a Miley Cyrus fan?
Who’s coming to this concert with me???
Reading
In the spirit of sharing the good, my 8-year-old just finished The Wild Robot and loved it so much that he asked me to read it so we could talk about it together. This gesture. I can’t remember being so excited to report back on what chapter I’m currently reading and who my favorite characters are. Also my kid has great taste because this book is very very good.
I finished Allison Bechtel’s Are You My Mother, partially as research for my play but also because my sister has been recommending it forever and I loved Fun Home.
I also just read We All Want Impossible Things by Catherine Newman and oh my god I loved it. It’s basically a novel about friendship and death, two subjects I never tire of. I sobbed and laughed and loved the writing so much and cannot recommend it enough. I will definitely be reading her next book Sandwich.
Finally this article about an 82-year-old retired professor teaching Afghan women to drive in California is just beautiful.
Spring Shopping
I love these kicks.
and
this blouse
and
this bandana
Eating
The playwright Paula Vogel sent these to my son after he broke his arm and not only do they look amazing they are crazy delicious.
I’m curious about this Za’atar and Labneh Spaghetti and this White Wine Pasta with Mushrooms and Leeks. Also this one-pot spring chicken? Yum.
The lemon cookie at Levain Bakery is crazy. It’s so delicious and it’s seasonal so get it while you can.
Project To Save Democracy
For those of you who have joined our Giving Circle we’ve chosen our two states to support in November. They are (drumroll) Arizona and Kansas! All of the money we raise from here on out will go to candidates running for the state legislature in targeted districts we think we can flip.
ARIZONA: Our goal is to flip two seats in each chamber of the AZ legislature to build, with Governor Katie Hobbs (D), a new Democratic trifecta.
Flipping both chambers in Arizona is possible in 2024. In the Senate, 1,500 voters changing their minds would have shifted the balance of power in 2022. And in the House, we see a clear path to governing power, as less than 1,000 voters shifting would have ended rightwing control. (Right after we picked our states, this AZ state legislator gave a speech on the house floor about her abortion story and the restrictions she faced. After watching her speech I was even more excited that we’re focusing on Arizona.)
KANSAS: The Republican supermajority in Kansas has repeatedly thwarted second-term Governor Laura Kelly (D). They’ve forced through legislation undermining Kansans' right to abortion and almost succeeded in passing extreme anti-voter legislation.
This year, we can break the Republican supermajority by flipping two seats in the House and holding all the current Democratic seats. In 2020 The States Project's support led to flipping two seats in the Senate and two in the House -- with one candidate performing 10 points better than Biden in a district Trump won.
We’ve raised 82K already and our hope is to get to 100K but my guess is that we will increase our goal because you’ve all been so amazing. I really believe that investing our energy and resources into these state races will be gratifying, educational, and a good and meaningful distraction from this otherwise stressful election cycle.
Life Stuff
I love Daphne Javitch’s Doing Well site. She’s a health educator and I look to her for guidance on all things to do with the body- eating, exercise, body image, aging etc. She is wise and wonderful and has none of the “here are some quick tips to lose weight” energy. I’m a member for $12/month but there is free content as well.
I just found this Power Of Visioning article by the smartypants Ari Weinzweig who co-founded Zingermans in Ann Arbor and I am totally going to do it.
Here’s your poem for the week:
The Patience Of Ordinary Things by: Pat Schneider
It is a kind of love, is it not?
How the cup holds the tea,
How the chair stands sturdy and foursquare,
How the floor receives the bottoms of shoes
Or toes. How soles of feet know
Where they’re supposed to be.
I’ve been thinking about the patience
Of ordinary things, how clothes
Wait respectfully in closets
And soap dries quietly in the dish,
And towels drink the wet
From the skin of the back.
And the lovely repetition of stairs.
And what is more generous than a window?
Okay dears, that’s all for this week. Enjoy this season of blossoming trees and any ordinary thing that catches your eye.
Take care of yourselves,
Celia
The Wild Robot is soooo wonderful. My son asked the same and I was glad he did!