Sunday #25 (the late edition)
Broken Bones, Kitchen Tools, Spring Dresses, and The Art Of Motherhood
It’s been a week over here. Tuesday was a gorgeous day in NYC and after getting out of rehearsal early and picking up my son William from school for the first time in weeks, I insisted that he and his friend Max stay outside instead of going to an apartment to hang out. We got popsicles on the way to the playground and then settled in. They found two other boys they didn’t know and played tag for hours. Then about 15 minutes before we planned to leave William tripped over a little fence surrounding a tree and broke his arm. This is the second time he’s broken that arm in six months and the third time he’s broken an arm. He was despondent and in disbelief that it happened again. I was too.
A mom holding a toddler rushed over to us, insisted that I put William in her stroller, said she’s sit with Max until a grownup arrived and told me to go the ER two blocks away. She was so calm and took care of me in a way I still can’t entirely grasp considering we did not know one another. Later, while we were planning to transfer to a different hospital she came to pick up her stroller and brought me granola bars. I cried in her arms thinking “this woman I do not know is mothering me and making my village one person larger.”
While we were waiting to be seen at the second hospital, I was trying to comfort and distract William out of his pain and he asked if we could use a code word, “Bob” that he could say instead of “please stop talking to me”. I said of course and also that he could just tell me to stop talking.
We had unbelievable care at both hospitals. One doctor asked William what music he wanted to listen to and played it on his phone while they put the cast on his arm. We were there until 2 am and for a lot of the time I couldn’t stop thinking about how I was going to rehearse the next day…and for the next week on so little sleep.
While I was pacing the halls, I remembered this interview with the meditation teacher Sharon Saltzberg where she talked about a hospital visit of her own where she was very very sick. She talked about how her meditation practice really saved her. It kept her in the present, not worrying about what was going to happen next or how she was going to recover. I found myself trying to summon her wisdom and not obsess about the next 8 weeks. It was not easy, my thoughts kept going into the future. But sometimes I was able to say to myself “just be here and do what you can.” I think that’s maybe good advice for life? Not easy. But something to return to.
When we got home, William decided to sleep on the pull out couch instead of his loft bed and he suddenly had a ton of energy. As I laid with him, scratching his back he talked about the doctors and his favorite video games and what we were going to do tomorrow. I was so tired and tried to listen but after a while had to just say “Bob” and fall asleep.
Distraction
I think because it’s been a little heavy over here I’ve found the #WhereisKate business a nice distraction. I liked this interview and this article by Anne Helen Peterson because instead of trying to “solve” the mystery, both journalists break down why this story has captured the attention of so many people, the impossible position of being a princess and problems with the monarchy.
Modern Love
This article “A Family Dinner With My Wife and Girlfriend” is gorgeous and heartbreaking.
Kitchen Tools
Here are three things I’ve owned different versions of over the years and I think these are the best:
This spatula for flipping pancakes, hamburgers and anything in between
This microplane for zesting citrus and grating garlic
This paring knife
Hair and Makeup
I really like this mascara in brown for a “no makeup” everyday use and I think I’m going to try this guy for nights out/red carpet situations where I do my own makeup. It’s refillable which I like and apparently you don’t end the night with flakes of mascara all over your face which will be a nice change from what’s currently happening in my life.
This R+Co salt spray is so good for adding texture and toning down my flyaway hairs.
I love this nail polish in rosy quartz. It’s cheap, dries fast and lasts a long time.
Spring Dresses
I want this denim situation to go on sale.
I love the cut of this dress and think it would look good on lots of different bodies.
Target has a new clothing line called A New Day that has a bunch of cute dresses. I especially like this one (for only $20).
The artist Madeleine Donahue captures the art of motherhood in a way that speaks to my soul.
Giving Circle
With the help of so many of you, our giving circle PTSD (Project To Save Democracy) has raised almost $80,000(!!!). We are having a zoom meeting on Monday to pick one state legislatures to flip and one to hold. If you’d like to donate you can do that here. Or if you’d like to attend the meeting, learn more about what we’re up to, and vote on which states to focus on you can sign up here.
And finally, here’s a poem for this week.
she holds his tired body
against her tired body
bouncing and rocking
rocking and bouncing
jarring her weary bones
bones that grew
from an unsure girl
into a strong mother
who is still not sure
how to bear the weight
of everything she holds
-Michelle Windsor
Okay that’s all for now. I’m going to try and take a nap.
Take care of yourselves,
Celia
How you can spin such beautiful words out of such a difficult week is a marvel! Love you, friend ❤️
Such beautiful insights, my friend. True, honest and incredibly recognizable. I love reading your work♥️ and I hope your love is back at it soon.