Hello out there. How are we doing? It’s the fourth night of Hanukkah. I think this is always the time of December where it still feels like we have a good amount of time to get things done before the end of the year. It’s a narrow window so I plan to take advantage because come next week things start to feel crazy.
Watching
I got to go to a screening of Waitress last night. It’s playing all over the country in movie theaters for a limited engagement and then you’ll be able to find it on iTunes to watch at home. I think it’s unbelievably good especially considering how difficult live captures of musicals can be. You will not believe how good Sara B is and watching it I couldn’t get over what an extraordinary accomplishment it is to have written such amazing songs and then sing and act her brains out. I’m telling you, watch it. You will be so glad you did.
Speaking of watching, have you seen the series Barry? John and I are on the last episode and I don’t want it to end. It’s dark dark dark but Bill Hader is in that same camp of savants who can write, direct and act. I loved this episode of Smartless where he talks about making the leap from SNL actor to television show creator. Also in the dark comedy/savant category is Mike White. Before he made The White Lotus he made this show with Laura Dern called Enlightened that is full of heart and heartbreak.
On the lighter side of TV I have to plug The Gilded Age and Julia since John and I are on them. I think this season of TGA is very good and fun and I can promise some juicy stuff going down in these last two episodes.
I didn’t mean for this to be an HBO sponsored post but here we are…
Baking
Growing up, my mother was not very crafty. And she wasn’t a great cook. She had a lot of other great qualities but they skewed towards social justice and dismantling the patriarchy. BUT she did love to make a Christmas cookie. I found two extensive collections that I will definitely be using this season. This one is a bit more traditional (I’m looking at the Lemon Snowball Cookies) and this one has something for everyone (Ginger Brownie Crinkle Cookies)!!
Family
Speaking of the holidays I’ve been thinking a lot about being with family and what it looks like to be intentional in the time we spend with them. It can sometimes feel easy for everyone to get on their phones and just relax (and don’t get me wrong we need that too) but is there a way to have better connection and quality time? This is such a great article about the questions we don’t ask our families but should. Everyone has different family dynamics and the holidays can be very stressful and bring up old patterns of behavior. But I’m leaning into the idea of asking our elders to tell us more about their lives. I’m planning to give this gift to the grandparents and hopefully it will spark a little conversation.
A big part of my end of life doula training had to do with legacy and understanding the themes of a person’s life. Since then, I’ve really tried to ask the older people in my life more about their childhood and growing up. A question I asked my dad recently was: Tell me about your education starting with Kindergarten. He talked about his teachers, schools, and friends and it opened up so many conversations and stories I hadn’t heard before. I think it’s easy for elders to start to feel more and more invisible as they age and dedicating time to learn more about them feels not only like the right thing to do but it can help us understand more of who we are.
Also, some grandparents are horrible racists and homophobes or treated your parent’s terribly…so hold that boundary so you stay safe. These open-ended questions can be part of any relationship they don’t just apply to family. Ask the people you care about to tell you about their life before the two of you met. It’s always surprising.
2024
A lot has come out in the last month about the stakes of this next presidential election. I am really trying to go into 2024 free from the panic and anxiety I experienced in 2020. I know this is easier said than done but I think there is a line between staying informed and feeding my beast of fear. When I consume too much media I start to feel scared and then paralyzed and I just tap out. I’m curious how we can engage without becoming overwhelmed. This podcast with Liz Cheney was interesting to me and so was this article by Dahlia Lithwick about what’s at stake in the 2024 presidential election. I share this because I think so many of us felt like we had the rug pulled out from under us in 2016 and I don’t want to feel that way again. In many ways, the stakes are so much higher next year- Democracy and all that. I also found this episode helpful in terms of what a second term Trump agenda might look like. You may not like Joe Biden and think he’s too old and have grievances about how he’s handled all kinds of things. But I guess I’m sharing all of this because the alternative is so catastrophic and I think we need to talk about that with our people. It’s less about candidates and more about fascism. Okay. Phew.
Slippers
The only way to follow up a section that ends with fascism is a recommendation for my favorite slippers. I am now a person who travels with slippers. I wear them around our apartment. A good pair is truly a game changer. I think the best present I’ve gotten in the last 5 years were these babies. I’ve given these and they were a big hit. And I was gifted these like 10 years ago and they are still in great shape and extremely comfy. We got these in our stockings last year and they are a cheaper, fantastic option.
Okay that’s all for this week. I’m going to leave you with an Albert Einstein quote my yoga teacher shared at the beginning of class this week that I’ve been thinking about ever since.
During the yoga class I kept saying to myself “I am building my light, I am building my light I am building my light.” I don’t even know what that means but it feels like the more we turn inward to heal ourselves the more capacity we have to make others feel seen and bright. And if I listen to Einstein, the brighter I am the more I allow the people around me to shine as well. I don’t know. I barely passed physics in high school. But I want you to shine bright this week. Build that light. We’ve all got it. Sometimes we just need to remember it’s there.
Take Care Of Yourselves,
Celia